Was browsing my facebook newsfeed, and realise my NS man, Alvin, got engaged with his girlfriend this week. I was super duper happy for that chap. He’s a good man and a good guy, and I’m glad that he found his love. He was posting the link of his gf blog, which detailed how he pull off with the proposal.
I was particularly taken back when I read this paragraph, as quoted from her blog:
“
About six months ago, I asked him a question.
“Alvin? Are you going to marry me?”
It took him a while to get over his shock, I believe.
Well, anyway, this is roughly what I said to him that night.
“If you don’t see yourself marrying me in future, I don’t see a point in staying together. I don’t believe in trying out. All those things that people say, about getting to know each other, making sure that your characters/personalities match each other before you decide you wanna be together forever is just an excuse people give themselves so they can choose the easy way out.
A relationship is not a game whereby I play it and choose a new game when things are not going my way. When two people choose to be together, they work out their differences and they make an effort for one another. They do not let their differences pull them apart and they do not let ‘this is how I’ve always been’ be an excuse to not put in an effort.
I believe when two people choose to be together, they make conscious efforts to include each other in their lives. I believe when two people truly love each other, there is no sacrifice too big they cannot make. I believe when two people really want to be together there will be nothing that can separate them. But this is only if they know they want it and they work for it.
I don’t want to be with you if you don’t believe that we will stay together. I’ve had enough of dating and trying and boys giving me excuses to cover their own insecurities.
To me, there is no try, there is only do or die.
So my question is, do you want to be with me?”
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” -Erma Bombeck
“
I was pretty overwhelmed. A lot of things went through my mind when I was reading this paragraph. I felt a little sad when I was relating it with my past experiences. On the other hand, I’m also very happy, and relived. Specifically, I believe Alvin had met his match.
Thank you, for sharing.
with love,
sweetlala
peace `
Sometimes, the end result depends on how much, and how hard you yield for something, or someone.
something “funny” to share. I was editing some part of my thesis and suddenly I felt as though I was being possessed by some depressive soul or sort. Out of a sudden, I was feeling so depressed, so sad, so worried. It’s really a spur of a moment, and I’m pretty sure it was not fully contributed by my thesis. I had no idea why and how did it happen, but I just felt blue to the max.
I was discussing with sheril and she thought i suffered from some form of panic attack. Basic on the DSM IV criteria and stuff, i’m sure I did not met any of the symptoms, other than perhaps sudden onset of fear. But the feeling, is not entirely fear as well. Seriously, that was pretty spooky. After listening to some music and stuff, I start to feel much better. Perhaps sheril is right, idk. The subconscious pressure of the thesis work might be hitting hard on me.
oh god, I’ve never felt so worried before in my life like how I felt just now. So surreal. 5 more days to go.
just got back from Mr Malcolm and Mrs Mercy’s church wedding held at prinsep street.
I walked by the Presbyterian Church countless times but I never get the chance to go in before, so it was something “extra” that I look forward too. This aside, I’m honored to be invited to my secondary school teacher’s church wedding. One of the best teacher I ever had in my life.
Waking up early in the morning is a pain. I was so sleepy and tired, like a zombie wandering around in the house. When I walked by the kitchen, it was pretty slippery so I just uttered “woo, so slippery”. My dear maid, Oma, actually thought I said “sleepy” instead, and go about telling me to sleep early. I was a little amused, wondering whether my pronunciation was that bad, and laughing that Oma is the new family member that ask me to sleep earlier for the past few days. And no, I did not create any disturbance/sounds at night so that they will wish I could sleep early. On the other hand, my mum woke up earlier than expected, decided to eat a mango and go back to sleep. I’m not sure why but I thought it was pretty funny too.
Initially, I opted to wear something more casual, until maran, kelvin and thim called and told me that they were wearing shirts and stuff. The funny thing is, I know it’s a “big” occasion, but somehow the mind keep tricking me to wear something casual. I had no idea why. Likewise, maran mentioned that thim told him the church was located in clementi, and I knew something was wrong already. Apparently, dear thim was too drunk last night and somehow kept thinking that the church was located at clementi area, and sms-ed maran/kelvin the wrong details. So, the church is within walking distance from thim house, but he traveled all the way down to meet me and kelvin instead. That’s so thim.
I was asking around whether one should give hongbao for a church wedding. Thim, being a christian, told me it’s not necessary. Somehow I was a little skeptical (Simply from past experiences, one just cant trust thim’s words), and brought along a pack of hongbao with me, just in case. And I was right. When we reached there, almost every guest passed their hongbao to the receptionist. We wrote our blessings, and settled down somewhere in the middle. Good to see soooo many secondary schoolmates around! Bet ah siew will be happy to see her wonderful thim.
The whole procedure took like 1hr 45mins; longer than what I had expected. There were tons of speeches about the holy lord, tons of singing. I thought a few songs were pretty meaningful and nice, especially the one sang by the bride’s friend. It was the only 1, or 2 songs in chinese, but the lyrics, the melody was pretty moving and touching. As I’m new to the bible’s words, many a time I was consulting thim for some form of explanation. The one that left the strongest impression was the chapter 5, verse 21:(or was it -)37, about some wedding vows. There was this statement that said the woman should (fully?) submit to the husband. I was asking thim, why cant the woman has a mind of her own? Submission seems to be a strong word, I felt, like enslaved? No offense to any christian btw. None intended. Also, as much as I gave credits to the pastor, for his education about the lord and the blessing for Mr and Mrs Tan and his humor, I just felt a little bitter about his opening statement. “You people, are privileged today to learn and know about the lord”. Yes, I agreed it is a privilege, but when he used “you people” to non-christian followers, I find it, insulting to other religion, or rather, lack of respect. Nevertheless, I don’t deny that I had a good experience today.
The most touching part of the day is about Mr Malcolm’s Tan sharing.
Mr Tan wearing his helmet hat
Credits to Ah Siew.
He was sharing how he met his wife, and how his wife accepted all his flaws and stuff. He is very open, too informal, too direct, something I thought I appreciate a lot because it holds truth, value, reflection, and awareness of oneself. He said he was a sinful man, and quoted that we are harsher to people whom we were closed to (I’m super duper harsh to my besty thim, so I agreed). And indeed, it really got me thinking a little. Yet, Mrs Tan accepted his whole baggage. Also amazingly, for Mr Tan, who self-quoted himself as the Tarzan, he was fortunate enough to find a lovely wife who also shared his interests. His passion for history and nature was deemed as boring to tons of pple, so it felt good that he found someone that love the way he’s.
A little info about Mr Tan. I aced my geography during sec 2, but due to a lack of geog teachers, we could only study history in secondary 3/4. At that point of time, I dont particularly like or enjoy history. It’s with Mr Tan, who literally wear Japanese’s soldier suit, even Hilter attire, and make history come alive for the whole class. He brought the whole class to museum to understand more about social studies, bash hidden forests and explore some wulu prison cells and stuff. So many road trips. And before I knew it, I aced my history and fall in love with the subjects. Strait Times even interviewed him. [STIStory_781491.html]
Overall, it was really a happy occasion to me, and I felt very happy for Mr and Mrs Tan.
After taking photos here and there, we met up with the secondary school friends and discussed about each other’s life. A few became teachers, some are working in the banks and hotels, and the rests are still students. We catch up a lot so it was pretty good. It was also a good surprise to see many familiar secondary school teachers. I has forgotten a few, but managed to chat with them, and took some photos.
After that, a few of us went to sim lim square to have a drink and chat for a little longer. Thim was still rambling about going for some overseas trip during July period, but no one took his words at all. After robbing us of a trip to Japan and his never-ending empty promises, its hard to believe in him again. Only his dumb (me btw) besty still try to have faith and trust in him a little more. Gengli wants to go malaysia, to visit some natural farms and plantations as his form of graduation trip. Maran is starting his job at DBS next month. After some chatting and shopping, we bid goodbye to one another.
Instead of taking the public transport, I decided to put on my earpieces and took a stroll home. Instead of the usual shortcut, I decided to venture deep into little india and subsequently to city square. Nella Fantasia by Sarah Brightman is looping in my iphone, and gave me the serenity feeling. Looking at the indians laughing, working, and the plantation. It was a pretty relaxing period. Sometimes I feel that Sg do has some “sightseeing areas” here and there other then sentosa/marina bay etc, just that no one had the interests to do it.
And did I mention that I really loved my new shoes? I think it is really bang for bucks and looks decently good, at least to me. Oh, vain me.
with love,
sweetlala
peace `
If I’m smart then I’ll run away But I’m not so I guess I’ll stay
During my study break, I was poking around in youtube, and came upon a korean got talent show where a korean was singing nella fantasia. I was so moved, my tears were hanging on the edge of the eyelids. I had no idea whether is it due to the korean’s singer background, his voice, or the music itself.
I youtube Nella Fantasia, and found that the original singer is Sarah Brightman. The singer whom I knew that sang “time to say goodbye” in the Japanese amalfi movie. Before I knew, i repeated the song (Nella Fantasia) like five or six times. I’m totally moved by this piece of music. It’s so beautiful, so moving, surreal, i dont know. Thank you for the godsend gift -
Nella fantasia io vedo un mondo giusto,
Li tutti vivono in pace e in onestà.
Io sogno d’anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano,
Pien’ d’umanità in fondo all’anima.
Nella fantasia io vedo un mondo chiaro,
Li anche la notte è meno oscura.
Io sogno d’anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano.
Nella fantasia esiste un vento caldo,
Che soffia sulle città, come amico.
Io sogno d’anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano,
Pien’ d’umanità in fondo all’anima.
[English translation:]
In my fantasy I see a just world
Where everyone lives in peace and honesty
I dream of a place to live that is always free
Like a cloud that floats
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul
In my fantasy I see a bright world
Where each night there is less darkness
I dream of souls that are always free
Like the cloud that floats
In my fantasy exists a warm wind
That breathes into the city, like a friend
I dream of souls that are always free
Like the cloud that floats
went for korean class 2 days ago @ river valley road. The campus was pretty big, larger than I expected. Looking at the name list, approximately a hundred registered for the class. So there were a total of 2 classes, with around 50 people in each class. 50 students in a language class, and that’s way too many people for it to be effective, I feel. When the korean teacher came in the classroom, she looked pretty nervous. Perhaps she never had such a big class before. The power of Groupon and discounts, striking at the hearts of singaporean, who always wanted things cheap and good.
As suspected, there were a total of 12 lessons. So the first four lessons we paid were heavily discounted, and we will be required to pay the proper amount if we wanted to continue subsequently. I secretly wished that the teacher could do some introduction, specifically some short background history and culture of Korea for instance. Instead, without even introducing herself, she went straight to teaching. She was a little rushing, probably a little ambitious to cover all the necessary materials. That aside, the examples and methods taught to remember certain sounds and vowels were too hilarious and got the class laughing quite a bit. For instance,ㅗ, she was saying since it’s pointing upwards, it will remind you of the sky, and the word, “God”. And when you see god, you will say OMG. So ㅗ = pronounce as O. How could you not love this teacher? End of the day, I have to say Korean is tougher than I thought. Nevertheless, I will love to see through the standard and quality of the 4 classes, and hope to commit for another 8 lessons to master basic korean.
I was browsing desmond and dave picture on their italy/china trips respectively and some pictures really BLEW MY MIND. I gonna share some of their pictures that I like a lot. I’m a sucker for greenery and hence more pictures on that.
Desmond in Venice. Oh, the pigeons, and the buildings.
Desmond in Rome. Nice building
Dave @ Su Zhou. Love the streets
Dave @ Su Zhou. The river of life.
Dave @ Hang Zhou. Nice water parade.
Dave @ Shanghai. Splendid view
Dave @ Mu Keng. I had orgasm looking at this. The greenery, it’s beyond words.
I used to climb huang shan when I was in primary school. My memories of it had faded. Upon looking at dave pictures, I cant believe I had forgotten such a splendid view.
Dave @ Huang Shan. Beautiful…
Dave @ Huang Shan. Oh my holy, the mountains. the sky.
Dave @ Huang Shan. Nice sunset.
Dave @ China. Look at the mega size xiao long bao! OMG I want to try it one day.
Dave @ Nanjing. I was disturbed by this picture though. Look at how cramp these cages are. Feel so sad for the rabbits and another animals.
I miss traveling, badly :/
On a sidenote, i brought my younger sis to the spectacle shop which I normally frequent. While she was checking on her eyesight and stuff, I was having a very good chat with the lady boss. She was sharing about the current educational system, and envy with the current generation student with flexible choice in choosing something they want, like a cert in business IT, multiple skills that complement one another. She was also sharing a story of a customer whom she just served a few days ago. Apparently, the customer’s daughter, either pri 3 or pri 5, went up to her mum and told her mum she wishes everyone’s time could stop, except for her. She was saying that it was a struggle to catch up with her friends, a continuous race to be equally good with them. I’m not particularly sure why but it was pretty saddening to hear. As young as primary 3 or 5, she’s having a tough battle day in and out to study. Yet, I was impressed that a young child like her, could think of such abstract concept for her age.
And for another customer, the lady boss was saying that a child of her customer, primary 2, was learning powerpoint for presentation. I actually repeated what the lady boss said, “Primary 2? Powerpoint ? wow.” I did not know that young children were already learning powerpoint for presentation at primary 2, for god sake. It’s not some cca, but part of the school curriculum. I think it was amazing in some way, but wonder how kids are doing nowadays. With majority of the parents I came across having their young child to learn piano/dancing/etc, and having massive tuitions and stuff, I’m not sure whether it’s healthy or what’s not. Of course, the basic intention of the parents are for the child’s good, but sometime, the childhood could get a little sad and lonely, maybe?
Lastly, she was also sharing very enthusiastically with me about how iphone has changed her life. She was amazed how a phone can have so many functions, ranging from texting, email, photos, apps that allow her to learn languages and stuff, and thanks steve job for his brilliant invention. I feel proud for steve jobs internally, that he could change so many people life for the better After like 15mins or so, my sister is out. I was shocked. Apparently, watching tv and looking at computer for many hours a day, her eyesight has not increased even a degree. My mum actually wanted to get a normal hard-code specs for my sis due to her clumsiness, but I “defy” her by opting for translucent lens for my sis in the end. I thought that a few extra bucks could protect her eyes, so why not? Her new specs, remind me of some sunglasses.
Younger sis with new specs (brownish black)
While heading back, she actually halt me for a second, and I saw that we are stopping in the middle of Singapore Pools. “I will like to buy 4D, ok?” And of course, i was giving her the @_@ look. Apparently, she went to her foster dad’s cremation ceremony today, had some inspirations and would like to buy two particular set of numbers. She added that if she won, she will pass the money to her foster mum to help them with their lives. It really put a smile one me. I’m so proud of her for having such an intention. This clumsy little sister, has really grew up a little. So I joined along too, to buy a number, and support her cause as well. Apparently, this is not her first time doing it @_@ She was explaining to me how’s does the 4d rewards payout system is like.
And tada, my virgin singapore pool’s betting.
4D
Apparently, I bought 2442, because the date today is 24. The first thing that came into my mind is the pri 3 or pri 5 girl who wishes to stop time, so I chose 4, the middle number. The second thing that came into my mind is the primary 2 child who was learning powerpoint. So yesh, that’s how the 2442 came by. As a “reward” for accompanying my younger sis, she was trying out a new dish that’s pertaining to steam eggs and said that she will make one for me too.
And before I end my entry, there’s one incident in twitter that I could strongly relate to, and I see it happening to some close friends too, so I thought of giving some comments about it. My ___ side relatives can be an arse, nothing to hide actually. I have declared my passive hostility to them for years. A few that lovessssss to put you down, and love to compare their social status. “Oh, I just got a prada bag from xxx country. Look, it’s so nice. My ah girl brought this for me. Your bag looks old, you should buy some new one. YYY is too cheap for my liking, only brand likes XXX got class”. Luxuries, to even interior house designs, or simple thing like restaurants, any idea/circumstances that can allow them to shine and put you down, they will. Needless to say, my mum is very affected by those. And at times, she will buy xx brand for the sake of it being a xx brand so it can help her to shield off those relatives. I always told her, the best way to counter them, is not to provide any form of reinforcement.Isn’t it ironic? That you spent xx amount of something you may not like, just to please someone you dont like? Gosh, give me the money and let me spend on something that the whole family will feel happy about then. If they’re playing the social status game, why do you want to tag along to play something you’re not interested in. Comparison is never ending, and its tiresome. Life is too short to please people, lest people whom you dislike.
Those people are consumed by social status, and thus define that as one of their core-self. Thus, they’re looking at the world in these “social-status” lens. They feel good by showing off, increasing their self-esteem and their core-self that they’re living in a good time. For good friends of this sort, I will close an eye and just congratulate them anyway. For those, who are pure irritating and arrogant, I simply deprive them of any positive reinforcement, till they do not seek me as a target to compare. Dont acknowledge how good it is to have xxx items, and treat it like a small thing, which is what i honestly feel. I don’t do this to friends, but there’s some arse who do this because they want to put you down, and my relatives belong to that category.
A chinese idiom said it perfectly.(just replace the 气 by comparison)
人家气我我不气
我若气时中他计
要是气死没人替
想想还是别生气
One happy song to end of this entry, a song that keep looping in my head.
2 days ago, thim swing by my house at 2:30 am to watch champion league final, between bayern munich and chelesa. I was a little annoyed because I wanted to shower at 1:15am, and he was there sms-ing me that he was arriving soon every few minutes. He needed my access card and stuff to enter. In the end when he reached, he told me he underestimated himself and his pace, because he was playing some games online earlier on. sighs.
I was working on my thesis stuff at the living room, while thim was enjoying the match in my room. I did walk in a few time to watch like 5mins here and then. I was neither a fan of both but I was rooting for bayern. But in the end, against all odds chelesa won, so kudos to them.
We had late lunch cause we slept late. During lunch, he was discussing about having a short trip during July period. It was super tempting to me. He thought of taiwan, hk, thai, and stuff, but no concrete place to settle upon. At the same time, it was pretty irony and funny as well. Before lunch, he was complaining to me about his 1k dental bill for his teeth, and he’s broke and stuff. The next moment, he was like, let’s have a short get-away trips lol. oh I do wish we could work that out man
Oh yesh, NPH tweeted a music video yesterday and I was instantly hooked by the music. It was “in your arms” by Kina Grannis. I thought her voice is pretty smoothing and pleasure to hear. The melody reminded me of a song, just that I cant recall about it.
and i thought her cover for safe and sound was pretty awesome too.
And also, ever since my mum is back, she began to restock all the fruits in the house. It’s really amazing. At times i wonder whether we should venture into selling fruits.
There’s still papaya, honeydew and apples in the fridge as well. So yesh, thanks to her being a fruity mum, all her kids will never have any vitamin deficiencies. She was poking fun of me last night as well. Previously I always asked her to rest early, and telling her that resting period between 11-3am is the best form of recovery for liver and other body system. The ironic is, I know the health benefits of sleeping early but yet I always ended up sleeping at 1-3am instead. So she was poking fun of me, to ask me to rest early and throw out all the health facts that I once told her about. And she spent the afternoon brewing bird nest, for us. She’s like, u worked late, so drink some bird nest for your skin as well.
And so, it’s with all the positivity and support in life, that i felt so blessed, to push me on for my educational work so as to not disappoint her expectation of me. I was thinking of preparing dinner for my mum, probably mid June after I’m done with my thesis, as a form of gratitude for her constant support as well. Since she has been hoping I could cook something for her for years, because my younger sis bakes and my elder sis cooks. Like what pongy said, I might be overseas studying during the next mother’s day, thus not being able to make it back on time. So perhaps, I should just do it soon. Fortunately, I have some sources to look up and learn some culinary stuff and receipts. Oh well, I just hope it will turn out well.
and also, i will be learning korean tomorrow. Will be so much fun i hope.
today is the day! The day that allen proposed to fishy. The coordination had been going for quite some time, and end of the day fishy managed to get the surprise of her life and all went pretty well, so it was really good.
At the evening, it was about to pour, and it actually rained for a short while. I was very worried as the proposal venue is in the open area at vivocity roof, and felt sad if the plans did not work out as planned. Fortunately with god’s love, it stop raining when the main party arrived to vivocity.
So allen rented a rabbit suit, and prepared to use that for proposal. I arrived early and help him with the misc stuff whereas BC was assigned the camera-man to film the whole process. Super fun, I like how BC keep trying to make it like a survivor horror film. “Act 1, we are in the roof now. Venture further to the destination. *add in panting and distress sound effects*”. epic
Allen holding the big stack of bunny suit
Meanwhile Allen and I went to the florist to get flowers and a stack of balloons. Actually it’s quite embarrassing for me to hold the balloons, because all the kids were pointing at me, and of course, the spot-like effect. But then it’s a huge responsibility, because if my hand slips, it would be a disaster!
Fishy’s friends came up and further coordinated the timing and stuff, while Allen was getting ready his bunny suit.
the flower, and the bunny’s head
the flower, and the sparkling diamond ring in the middle
15mins before fishy arrival, we realised that the stash of balloons were stuck. Moreover, more and more kids were crowding around Allen. We had to patiently untie the balloons one by one, and luckily we made it in time before venturing to our hidden location.
Fishy was lured by her friends to the rooftop and to the bunny, who handed her a balloon, removed his bunny head gear, and proposed to her. The rest of us rushed towards her, handing allen the flowers, the ring and stuff. Fishy’s look was totally stunned, and one of the rare time I saw her cried. Cries of joy and happiness
Before long, the fireworks @ 9pm began, and the whole view was pretty. What a great night, I thought. A few years back, fishy was still the clumsy and blur little sotong. Now, she got a career, and she’s marrying. She really grew up; We really grew up. We, really grew up. Aint young anymore.
We took lots of photos, while BC was still doing a good job filming the whole process. After the whole process, we headed to Brotzeit for some light food and drinks. Maybe it’s due to a custom I shared with thim, we always loved to get a cup of wine/a beer/ vodka when we had something happy/major to share. At this point, I really felt like drinking a beer to celebrate for fishy and allen We each got a beer, and ordered a pizza.
German Beer
chicken pizza
Perhaps God thinks that I need a further reminder that I’m not young anymore. A groups of girls were celebrating hen’s night for their friend, who’s having her wedding tomorrow. She looks pretty young. She approached our table, and asked for a photo and a blessing, and I was the one chosen. Gave her my full blessing through words in a napkin, and took a photograph with her. I sincerely prayed that her wedding will be a good one, and best wishes to her and her fiance.
We had some great catch-up and conversation. Meanwhile, I was also discussing with BC about our potential trip to Italy. We just had issues with setting the dates due to his work and mine as well. Hopefully by Sep, we can fly to Italy.
Other then Rome, Florence, Venice, there’s one place I really wanted to see and feel it myself. And that’s…Amalfi coast
So the whole night ended on a positive note. Still feel very happy for allen and fishy
with love,
sweetlala
peace `
Theme of the night: Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence-
after looking through some of the photos taken during army days back in India, I’m like surfing on a wave of nostalgia for a while. Good old days. End up posting a few photos at yesterday post.
Received a phonecall from my mum today. Glad that she’s doing well over there and she sounds good to me, which makes me feel happy, for her as well. And they’re returning back tml night. Hope they will be back with a joyful heart, feeling refreshed and stuff.
Health doesnt seem to be good for me lately. Recalling the days before quiznos, the lunch gatherings with pongy/fishy, my appetite this days indeed is pretty scary. I had difficulties finishing my lunch, or even a 6 inch sub without meal when I can finished footlong without an issue in the past. And I’ve been going through some days with a single meal daily. And no, I’m not consciously/actively dieting either. I just feel bloated all the times, but good hot soup do the trick this days for me to eat more. And my cough, it seems ongoing for 2 weeks already, but it’s getting better, so hope it recovers soon as well.
Maybe I’m in the pre-pre-pre-pre-preliminary stage of depression based on DSM IV. Lack of sleep, feeling tired, and loss of appetite, and thinking of my thesis stuff. In a way it might be a good thing to shed some weight without trying. But the lack of nutrients certainly make me feel weak at times, not a good sign. Hope my daily dose of vitamins from fruits and juices at least help support the body a little.
And yes, here comes the ranting session. I had waited for a week or more, no, definitely more than a week, for my sup to proof-read and comment on my paper. As I learn a lesson previously (the time he took to edit the whole literature review), I broken down the research paper in bit and pieces and only sent him my methodology (easiest section of the research paper), and my results section. No responses from him meanwhile. It’s so frustrating, it’s driving me nuts. All of us know the dateline; All of us know the importance of this. During off-peak period I could close an eye, but even now? [I wish I had committed a fundamental attribution error, but it's very unlikely in this case] I think I might even be more depressed if bonni and yingmin did not offer their help to proof-read my paper. At least I could get some senses on my inevitable grammar errors and some feedback on the flow and stuff. My “partner”, also under the same sup, is killing herself meanwhile as well on the same issues. It makes me envy about other honour students and their supervisor quality. And yes, as a honour student I know that it’s eventually our responsibility to write a good research paper, but the amount of supervision/help I received as compared to the norm, is like 1-2 standard deviation off, and it really put me in a disadvantage in a way that my paper might look “raw” in the eye of the markers. But in another way, I’m glad that I’ve managed to push my limits and reached a greater height in this final year project. On a basic level, I believe I’m still doing pretty well.
Ok done ranting. just needa offload some negative energy
you shout it loud
but i can’t hear a word you say
i’m talking loud not saying much
i’m criticized but all your bull is ricochet
you shoot me down, but i get up
[chorus]
i’m bulletproof nothing to lose
fire away, fire away
ricochet, you take your aim
fire away, fire away
you shoot me down but i won’t fall
i am titanium
you shoot me down but i won’t fall
i am titanium
i am titanium…
[sia]
cut me down
but is you who had further to fall
ghost town, haunted love
raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones
i’m talking loud not saying much
[chorus]
i’m bulletproof nothing to lose
fire away, fire away
ricochet, you take your aim
fire away, fire away
you shoot me down but i won’t fall
i am titanium
you shoot me down but i won’t fall
i am titanium
i am titanium…
[sia]
stone-hard, machine gun
firing at the ones who rise
stone-hard, thus bulletproof
[chorus]
you shoot me down but i won’t fall
i am titanium
you shoot me down but i won’t fall
i am titanium
you shoot me down but i won’t fall
i am titanium
you shoot me down but i won’t fall
i am titanium
and yes, I’m still alive, surviving 2 days without D3. fighting strong still.
I should not be here, not at all. But after having a whatapp conversation with dave earlier on, there are some strong emotions that I would like to put down to words, so I will make a quick post before heading back to my beloved and yet tormenting thesis paper.
So dave went on backpacking to china last week. He used to have something against ah tiong (china people). So earlier, he was sharing a few stories about his traveling and it pleases the both of us. At the end of the whatapp conversation, he also had a strong urge to put it down to words. So back to the topic, he is still currently enjoying himself in china. He was sharing that one day, he only had notes but no coins for bus transport. Someone actually walk up to him, paid for his transportation, and rush off to the bus behind him, which is leaving. Some china citizens actually shared some foods with him to try, and in another context, some china citizens actually passed him tissues and stuff after his lunch while he was on the train. Similar, he had a conversation with an American, who disclose to him that a china mum actually gave him a bag of potatoes after casually mentor the child some basic english.
Thus, there are nice china people around, much more than we give credits too. Look at the singapore context, the paper, the media. People are flaming up and discriminating the PRC. I was talking to da jie today, that i worried sooner or later there gonna be a radical riot in singapore between sg and prc. A large population of people are perceiving PRC as scum as a whole, yet it’s only a few handful of black sheeps that were responsible. Angry with the bad sheep, yes, but angry with PRC as a whole, it’s saddening.
Similarly, people also discriminate the indians. I live near little india, and thus I’m very familiar, or even neutrally comfortable with them. I knew tons of people who are disgusted by them, looking down as thou they were a second class human being. That’s the reality. But they had no idea how indians can be like as well. I had a super intelligent and nice indian classmate whom we all get along well. Similarly, I went to india for a oversea training back during my army days. The people from different social castes accepted us and treat us with hospitality. There were this cultural event, where they threw color powders at one another. They included us in their celebration, and we had our fun. End of the day, they even shared foods and stuff with us.
Not related to the cultural events, but to showcase the beauty side of India
What people don’t realise is that, for some PRC/indians in sg, they doesn’t not come to sg because they wanted to, just like the indo/phi maids. They had to support a family back at home and left their friends/loved ones to be here, a foreign country that’s hostile to them. As days go, some local people retain the same level of hostility. Moreover, media only reported on the negative aspect of the foreigner’s actions (murder for instances), yet little to no reports on any possible noble deeds. And soon, more local people are self-reinforced that the foreigners are bad for this and that reasons, and some local people will be more hostile and further discriminate the foreigners. So the end result? More and more negative relationship between both parties.
This is a big concern because humans are “supposed” to evolute into a “higher grade” of human being per se (think of half-ape to humans), with more moral, ethics. Such discriminating acts, with the help of social media, is only driving humans to a slow and inevitable destruction. This main question is, how can we “change” the society. I hope that at a basic level, media can play a appropriate and balance role in this cultural context.
Human are an interesting being. Studying on human characteristics and thinking never cease to amaze me. I just hope over the years when i attain more professional knowledge, I can in my own part make the world a “better” place. I will also love to do more traveling, explore and expose myself to different cultures, understand their “language”. I believe, it will totally be a life-changing experiences.
today was a busy day, much busier than what I had planned out. Send my parents off to thailand today in the morning. Mum was still worried about the weather, comparing local 32-33 degrees to thai 40+ degrees. Sigh, they really deserved a break, and i really hope they do get some in thailand. Hope they could stop thinking about everything else (work, events) and just enjoy themselves.
Met up with pongy for lunch, and to get my shoes as well. Finally got it after 3 weeks – 1 month of waiting. She brought me to this “atas” foodcourt at Asia Square for lunch, which had imperial kitchen and many other more “atas” shops. We chatted about a lot of stuff. She was laughing at me for describing about my concern for my chubby cheeks lol. She go about how she used to sell this “roller” that can help to create the compressed and “V’ cheek or something. And i was laughing it off. Discussing some of the r/s stuff about her bf, and give my inputs here and there as well. I had to say woman is really a very complicated being lol.
There was one particular conversation that got me to reflect a little. I told her that I had started to game way lesser, and shift my free time to reading books (hunger games trilogy inspire me to read more). She was a little surprised, and thought i would actually game more after my breakup, since no one would be concerned/bothered about it. Surprisingly, this breakup significantly reduced my gaming time. The first move i did was to delete and quit Darkages, the childhood and teenage game that follow me through 1/4 of my live. I find it sick to login and play anymore, with the constant thoughts of how my commitment to it actually led to the destruction of my past r/s. And thus, DarkAges was a sacrifice i made to tie a loose knot and move on in life.
Gaming now and gaming in the past felt a little different. Perhaps i began to fear gaming a little. I used to see gaming as a de-stress process. It still is currently. It’s just the thought that playing games, moderately or not, could still yield some destructive social outcome. It slowly becomes a phobia, in some way. Perhaps I had yet to meet someone who could accept the way I’m, or perhaps lesser gaming is part of the growing up. On the other hand, reading gave me pleasant, brush up my language (hopefully), and it can do done anytime. In my view, I perceived this change as part of the growing up process, since venturing into a psych field definitely require my language at a certain level, hence the reading. I will still retain my gaming hobby, just that I need to keep them in check.
Pongy asked it implicitly, but i get her question. “Is this your true identity?” And thus the reflection. What i had done, the changes I had made, are those truly my identity, or an identity that I’m shaping up to meet other expectation. I gave it some thoughts, and I see it a mixture of both, but more of a former aspect. I do like reading, esp for the past 6 books that I read, and it pleases me like never before. I dont see it as a chore to improve my language, and really seek to improve myself, either for my own or for my future. On the other hand, I don’t attributed the lack of gaming due to my ex, but it opens my eyes to see the detriment effects it could have. And I believed, i should spent much more time with friends, and less gaming. And indeed, it had worked up pretty well for me.
After sending pongy off to her office, I got home and tried the 2 shoes i purchased. Fortunately, it fits real well.
Picture from the website
The delivered product
Due to the bad lighting for the photos, the color seems contradicting but it match pretty ok (thou the khaki-ness is not as solid as the advertised shot) with the advertised shot. I must said I’m pretty satisfied, especially at the cost I’m paying. It’s a steal.
Advertised shot
The delivered product
I was far less satisfied with my second shoes thou. Firstly, the color of the lace was wrong. And i felt that the “blue” was totally off from what i seen in the picture. Kinda disappointed.
Actually i ordered 3 shoes, but this 1 OOS. Unfortunately, this is the 1 i wanted the most out of the 3.
In the late noon, I received a notification from BC that D3 are available for collection. The game that gamer waited for 10 years. The game where i used up 2 beta gaming days to read Game of Throne instead of D3. It was a masterpiece nevertheless. Moreover, my sister got it as a advanced birthday gift for me, and also for her fiance. Additionally, I got bonni and her good friend in and got a good bundle price. As I’m the main coordinator, knowing that my sis’s fiance took a day off for D3, and bonni’s friend was desperate to get it during the release date, I felt a need to collect asap.
When I reached there, the queue was long, pretty long. Imagine the floor plan as a square shape. So when i arrived, i was in the queue that was 2 corners away from the store. It was a massive crowd, reminding me of how people used to queue for hello kitty back in the past.
Well, doing some simple statistics on the spot, there’re more adults than teenages who were queuing. I guess that’s not surprising, since the adults have waited 10 years from it since D2, and hence it was a vital attraction target. Moreover, there’s a ratio of 9 males: 1 females. Some seems to accompany their friends/bf, and some seems to be more nervous and anxious about it than their partners. There’s a few camera guys around recording, and I find it embarrassing. Oh well, please, no photos or reporters. Time spending there was not fruitful at all. Other then constructing a mindset of adjustment to make for my thesis, part the time was spent on whining. I miss my book (the book thief) and i totally regretted not bringing along with me. Simply underestimate the crowd. I waited for an hour before I finally got it. This mark my first experience “queuing” up for the release of a game. Never see that coming.
Four copies of Diablo 3
When I left the shop, a pass-by auntie actually came up to me and asked me questions about the crowds, the games and stuff. It felt kinda weird because I felt like a little game geek doing an interview and tried to make it simple for her. One of her questions really tickled me a little: “Is this game for males only?”. I cant help but replied that that it was a stereotypical concept by the media on gaming and the game can be well enjoyed by both males and females if they were interested. And when I left, the queue was getting more ridiculous. Instead of four corners, the queue has formed a second loop (6 corners long of queue now). And it certainly had an unexpectedly red carpet effects. As i was heading to the stairs, there are eyes on me, and the plastic bags that I’m carrying. Went to newton to pass 2 copies to Bonni. Qoosh (bonni’s friend) was so anxious and in clouds nine I heard.
When i headed back home, I was feeling tired. I had no appetite for dinner, and it has been weeks since I had been coughing. A part of me was still stubborn. In my term, it’s called “I’ve faith in my immunity system and I’m trying to strengthen it”. In pongy way, we are lazy and crazy to think that way. The cough syrup and medicine is still within reach, and I’m still hesitant about it. Somehow, I just don’t like to depend on drugs, for good n for bad.
And yes, my Diablo 3 copy gonna rust in one corner i guess. Still not hyped abt it. Moreover, since i waited for 10 yrs, y cant i waited for another 15 days till thesis is over, lol. Looking back, i was like a child screaming out loud for D3 half year ago.
Gonna end this post with a “diablo” music. This piece totally blew my mind.
